livin up to my rep..

as a lurker..

sure im not the most reliable blogger out there and to be honest i usually only blog when i desperately need to get something off my chest..

its been over 2 months since i last saw K.. been good.. until i hear from him and find out about all the shit hes been doing and all the lies that eventually unravelled.. if anything thats whats been sending me mental.. i thought i did love him still, but no its not that anymore, it was more of a habit.. by way of human sacrifice lol nah im over that shit..

been spending a lot of my time with the boys, theyve been keeping me sane and i love em for it..

work’s been hectic.. fair been driving me mad actually.. ive gone from working every now and then to having shifts dumped in my lap.. monday 5am – (whenever my boss tells me to go home), tuesday, wednesday & friday 7-12, and saturday 3pm-12am.

with all the events going on in the last 2 months im running on fumes… add D on top of it all..

well…………..

what can i say about D?

totally unexpected… a shock and a half actually cos i finally got into the groove of hanging with the boys, partying on weekends, spending time with summer albeit sporadically and work.. and i was content being single, i was actually happy.. but now…

weve known each other for about 6-7 weeks and we finally met last monday which was great, then again this monday which was even greater and before i knew it here i am standing at the precipice.

how can i describe D.. hes the sweetest guy, the biggest smart arse, hes got this incredible sense of fun, hes always on the up, boys got rhythm, awesome kisser, hes more stylish than i am.. but fuck oath he makes me smile… whenever im havin a shitty time and i hear his voice i start to relax with his “hello”, he makes me feel safe if anything because i know he can handle himself in a situation..
and its all so scary..

i know deep inside that if i can learn how to let go of my fears and just let go we can really have something.. on the flip side im not the only one whos being very cautious..

so right now in my sane moment id like to relive some of my CHOICE moments..

4th of Sept: that first kiss, just to shut him up, that last parting comment of his “yeh that was good”.. classic D comment

11th of Sept: 2ish in the afternoon, after ive spent the last few hours almost dying at work, no sleep, lookin and feelin like shit, been raining all weekend and at most picture perfect moment EVER.. with our song (so sick) blazin in my ear, i glance to my left and behold, D walking towards me in his uniform, glasses on and the sun pretty much shining out of his arse.. god he looked hot.. i think about that moment whenever i need to smile and if you know me really well, you can probably see my eyes glaze over with lust… dead serious tho.. i dont think anyone has ever made my eyes just pop out like that.. (wait.. close second has to be Sam.. not meaning to be disloyal to D.. but Sam really is right up there with the hottest guys ive ever hooked up with)

we havent done the deed, which in itself is a beautiful thing.. im really proud of that actually..