the perfect analogy

so i was at my hairdressers last night and as usual he had some things to say…

after 2 years of giving me advice about K he finally came up with something profound…

"were here only once.. and what is the point of spending the majority of your time stressing when you could be having fun? you only get what you put up with."

but thats not it he compared my relationship to a rotting apple.. but ive thought about it and found that comparing it to a plant works a lot better….

relationships or love is like a plant..

it starts off as a seed that grows, if you nurture it and take care of it, it will grow and flourish.. neglect it and it will start to die..

i put it in the freezer for a while.. then i decided to regrow my plant, so i took it out and tried to plant it again.. but its not going to grow like that again.. it will still be a dying plant..

i dont want to be the one who always tries to make it work.. i know in his own way he does too but i know hell always take the easy way out and hang up on me..

it hurts that i dont get the benefit of the doubt of being a decent human being.. hurts that instead of comfort when i cry i get more abuse..

i miss him terribly but it seems like every time we see each other or we talk to one another its like playing a game of russian roulette.. i never know if im going to get blown apart..

i cant live like that..

being back at mum and dads im so much more relaxed.. im lonely but im happy.. but more importantly im sane..